ǿմý experts often talk about diet, exercise, and mindfulness activities when discussing better lifestyle habits. But we don’t often hear about loneliness—a condition that afflicts many of us, especially during the holiday season. You may even be surprised to learn that loneliness poses some and is just as dangerous as .
“Social connection is vital for our overall well-being,” says , a psychologist and well-being specialist at University of Utah ǿմý's Resiliency Center. “It helps us recover from stress, anxiety, and depression. And by connecting with others, we can reduce the risks for heart disease, stroke, and various chronic diseases. In addition, it builds social and emotional resources that help individuals be resilient in the face of stressful life circumstances.”
If you’re feeling lonely, you’re not alone. In the aftermath of a global pandemic, loneliness has become a widespread issue, affecting about However, you can take some steps to feel more connected to others and the world around you.
1. Put Yourself Out There
Be honest with yourself: do you truly want to live in isolation, or do you long to feel more connected with others? If it's the latter, now is the time to put some plans in motion to change the status quo.
“Awareness and self-reflection are the first steps,” Van Epps says. “Once you realize that you need more social connection, it's time to dedicate time and energy into reaching out to people.”
Here are a few pointers to help you make new friends and keep the old:
- Reach out to friends and family to check in and catch up on their lives.
- Make plans to meet up—preferably in person—and commit to them.
- Join a group, club, or organization that aligns with your interests and values.
- Volunteer for a good cause and meet like-minded friends.
- Practice random acts of kindness and notice the responses you get.
2. Keep an Open Mind
Much like dating, making new friends can be awkward and anxiety-provoking. Once you make a connection, it takes some trial and error to feel it out. If you're feeling good chemistry with a potential new friend, make an extra effort to follow up and keep that interest alive.
“Not every person you connect with is going to be your new best friend, but it's important to approach every new connection with an open mind and a commitment to nurture and deepen relationships over time,” Van Epps says.
3. Count Your Blessings
Strengthen and rekindle existing relationships by letting friends and loved ones know how much you appreciate them.
“Take a moment to reflect on a positive experience you’ve had with someone else and write it down,” Van Epps says. “Engaging in this type of gratitude exercise not only boosts your mood but also inspires you to strengthen your relationships.”
Here are some pointers to help you get started:
- Reach out to someone and let them know how much they mean to you.
- Start a gratitude journal, noting all that you love about someone.
- Be intentional about expressing your gratitude in real time when someone shows you kindness.
- Write a thank-you letter (digital or snail mail) to someone you appreciate.
4. Know That Everyone Struggles
Too much time spent alone can warp your sense of reality, leading you to believe that everyone else is thriving while you’re left behind. Yet when we engage with others, our perceptions of their lives—and their carefully curated social media profiles—become clearer and more accurate.
“Social interactions can counter thoughts that aren't really based in reality,” Van Epps says. “When we connect with others, we can learn from them and see that we aren't the only ones facing struggles and hardships. Receiving compassion from other allows us to be kinder to ourselves as well.”
5. Don’t Go into Hiding
We live in challenging and highly polarized times, but before you choose to withdraw, remember this: Humans are inherently social creatures, built to share our lives with others through both good times and bad.
“Our social interactions greatly contribute to our sense of self and understanding,” Van Epps says. “By helping others and receiving help in return, we navigate difficult times more easily. This mutual support counters negative self-perception and fosters a healthier, more positive self-view.”
6. Know When to Get Help
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by loneliness and showing , please seek help or . Use this to learn how to navigate difficult times and manage emotions. You also can seek help from a crisis line like 988, which provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
