Read Time: 7 minutes
On Thursday afternoons, a small group of men gather virtually. Some sit and listen. Others open up a little. A few let their emotions flow.
These sessions are part of a support group for men grappling with the many side effects—mental, physical, and spiritual—of a cancer diagnosis. The aim is not just to survive but to thrive, finding strength in shared experiences and mutual support.
“The goal of the men’s support group is to offer a safe space for men to process what they’re going through,” says Sean Hadley, LCSW, social worker at Huntsman Cancer Institute. “All sorts of concerns can arise from a diagnosis, and this group helps them navigate these issues.”
Sean, who has been working with the group since 2023, explains that each meeting is structured to provide a mix of education and support. Every other weekly session features a guest speaker, ranging from pharmacists and dietitians to pelvic floor therapists, mindfulness coaches, and sleep psychologists. These experts offer tools and techniques to manage the side effects of cancer and its treatment.
“The sessions are designed to be educational and supportive,” Sean explains. “We cover a wide range of topics, including medication education and mindfulness techniques, all aimed at helping these men navigate their journey.”
“It provides a space for men to open up about their struggles. Men are often socialized not to share their feelings and just do what they need to do. This group challenges that norm, creating a space where it's okay to say, ‘I'm in pain, I'm struggling emotionally.’”
The group, which meets in cycles of 16 sessions with a two-and-a-half-month break in between, attracts a diverse range of participants. Ages vary from men in their 20s to early 70s, though the majority are between 45 and 65. The meetings are held via Zoom, making them accessible to patients no matter where they live.
Julio Jarvis, LCSW, leader of the support group, highlights that the transition to virtual meetings during the pandemic was a turning point. “In-person meetings didn’t go very well initially. COVID made everything virtual, and that’s when the group started to improve. We became more flexible and began to include people from out of state and even internationally.”
“I have a background in mental health and crisis management, and I was running my own practice in 2008 when I was diagnosed with cancer,” says Julio. “At that time, I didn't know of many resources for men. So, when I was hired by Huntsman Cancer Institute in 2019, I saw a gap that needed addressing and I started this group.”
Julio is not just a bystander at the weekly sessions. “My first cancer diagnosis was testicular, and then in 2022, I had a second cancer, stage 4 renal cell carcinoma. I’ve undergone immunotherapy, surgeries, and radiation,” Julio shares. Despite the challenges, he continues to work full-time at Huntsman Cancer Institute and manage his side practice.
“I was not sure what it would be like, but I felt very alone with my cancer…I thought it would be worth a try, and I saw that I was not alone.”
“One of the most powerful aspects of the group is that it provides a space for men to open up about their struggles,” Sean says. “Men are often socialized not to share their feelings and just do what they need to do. This group challenges that norm, creating a space where it's okay to say, ‘I'm in pain, I'm struggling emotionally.’ Being heard and seen can be motivating.”
Steve Rose, initially nervous about joining, quickly found value in the group. “I am so glad that I have been able to attend several meetings and participate. It is also nice to hear the gentlemen talk about what is going on with them. Even though several of us have different kinds of cancer, we all have a lot of issues and concerns. My goal has always been to be positive and help as many as I can through the process and come out of this stronger and healthier. I am a better person for it.”
For many of the men, the group provides a much-needed outlet for emotions that can be difficult to express elsewhere. Feelings of guilt, shame, and worthlessness are common, and the group offers strategies to cope with these emotions. Simple steps like breathing exercises, grounding techniques, and mindfulness are taught to help manage anxiety and prevent rumination.
Reflecting on his journey, Julio’s passion is evident. “I joined the military at 17 and learned I could overcome hard things. Going through basic training, you see the downfalls of not having a safe space and how destructive behaviors can compensate for lack of expression.”
“Even though several of us have different kinds of cancer, we all have a lot of issues and concerns. My goal has always been to be positive and help as many as I can through the process and come out of this stronger and healthier.”
For those hesitant to join, Julio offers reassurance. “Give it a try. Those who come to a meeting know pretty soon that this is right for them.”
Ben Buchanan, a former ER doctor and a stage 4 prostate cancer patient, found the support group invaluable. “It’s been very helpful and rewarding. I have greatly benefited from the meetings because we all learn from each other. We share our challenges and wisdom, and it really has a positive impact on everyone. In my opinion, this group is very helpful for any male with any cancer at any stage.”
Sean's role is to facilitate discussions, encouraging participants to share their experiences and support each other. “The group is the solution,” he states. “My role is just to get them talking and be there to help facilitate. Their resilience is really impressive. They come in and laugh and joke while sharing some heavy stuff. It’s an honor that they come in and share this stuff. They are as positive as they can be.”
“I have greatly benefited from the meetings because we all learn from each other. We share our challenges and wisdom, and it really has a positive impact on everyone.”
Julio notes that the group covers all cancer types, not just prostate cancer, as some might assume. “It's unique. There aren’t a lot out there like this. The guys in the group are very loyal and appreciate that this is a safe space. They can talk about the things that worry them. If you’re not showing emotion, it doesn’t mean you don’t have any. There’s also a stereotype that men need to fix things, to handle everything on their own. This group challenges those societal norms.”
Bill Bohn, another member, found solace and community within the group. “I was not sure what it would be like, but I felt very alone with my cancer. I experienced high anxiety at times, especially as an appointment approached. I thought it would be worth a try, and I saw that I was not alone. Others were dealing with similar anxiety, and I learned about resources at Huntsman Cancer Institute that have helped me, like massage and acupuncture.”
Julio emphasizes the importance of understanding available resources and knowing one's care team. “Most people aren’t aware they are assigned a social worker. Pain management, massage, acupuncture, writing, music therapists—these are all available to help.”
“It's unique. There aren’t a lot out there like this. The guys in the group are very loyal and appreciate that this is a safe space. They can talk about the things that worry them. If you’re not showing emotion, it doesn’t mean you don’t have any.”
The harsh reality of cancer is ever-present as Julio notes. “Time is limited. The way you look at life drastically changes. We lose a member every couple of months. It’s hard. But the comfort and consistency the group provides is very supportive.”
“I got into social work to help others,” Sean adds. “It’s what I want to do. You can make a difference.” About cancer, he notes, “People forget the mental wear and tear it takes. You know there’s a physical toll, but it is rewarding to help people with their feelings.”
The men’s support group at Huntsman Cancer Institute is a testament to the power of shared experience and mutual support. It offers a lifeline to men navigating the challenges of a cancer diagnosis, helping them find strength, resilience, and hope in each other.